Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
