My brain says no but my pants say off.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
