Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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