David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
