Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Randomize
