I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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