So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
