You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
