Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
