If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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