New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
