How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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