Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Boobs speak an international language.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
