I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need water and some morals
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
