Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
