chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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