We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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