At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize