i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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