why didn't you poke me back
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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