Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
