Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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