i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
