She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
