Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
