alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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