we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
