You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
