With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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