Your tits are I can't wait for
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
