Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
