go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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