So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
