it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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