thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
