I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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