I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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