Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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