By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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