Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Panties = found
Randomize
