just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
