Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
