My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
operation harelip BJ is a go
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
