no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
