Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
