I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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