dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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