She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
