Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
