i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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