I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
