The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
